For Unto Us a Child Is Born

Today we celebrate the birth of a man from Galilee. This man was born, as all of us are, as a small helpless being, dependent on the care and protection of a mother and father.

This child was born in a stable on a journey decreed by a Roman emperor in order for an accurate taxpayer's census to be prepared. In the times of Caesar Augustus, expectant mothers were not allowed the luxury of staying at home during a census. Paying taxes was more important to the Roman Empire than the birth of a child.

Shepherds, due to a lack of education and wealth, were considered the lowliest members of a community. Shepherds, though, were the first to recognize the birth of a child who would become the Prince of Peace.

Wise Men, kings from other countries, journeyed to bring gifts to this child. These kings realized the potential of this child. Another King, believing that the prophecy of the birth of the "King of Kings" had been fulfilled, ordered the slaughter of all male children under the age of three in his kingdom.

To protect their child, Mary and Joseph left their home, their families, and their livelihoods. This child and his parents fled to Egypt to escape King Herod's murderous edict.

At the age of twelve, this child's parents allowed him to follow his desire of becoming a rabbi, even though he would spend most of his adult life as a carpenter. The last three years of his life, from the age of thirty, this man traveled from city to city with his followers and students.
He talked to people about how to be kind to one another and how to have a personal relationship with the Creator of the Universe. His teachings were considered treason by the governing powers at the time, and he was sentenced to death.

This week we celebrate the birth of a man from Galilee. In our celebration let us remember that we all are born as children of God with enormous potential that even a simple, uneducated person, such as a shepherd, can comprehend.

In our merrymaking, let us remember that each of us has possibilities that should be encouraged by those in our world who are in positions of wisdom, wealth and influence. Those of us who hold these positions of power should seek to share our gifts and offer them to our children, as the Wise Men did.

We need to be prepared to protect our children from the treachery and greed of those who would be the King Herods in our world.

Using Mary and Joseph as our models, we need to trust our children to follow their paths and believe in our children's and our own unique abilities to heal the world.

Every person on our planet is born a child. No matter what our beliefs in terms of religion, nationality or faith, the message of the child called Jesus speaks to us all, if only we will listen. The message is simple.

Jesus said that the two most important acts we can perform in the world are these:

• Love the Lord thy God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.
   
• Love your neighbor as yourself.   

A message simple enough for a child to understand.

For unto us a child is born. We need to remember that each of us is that child.

God bless us, everyone.

Next week: My Amygdala Made Me Do It

About Kids Talk™
Kids Talk™ is an award-winning newspaper column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland. She has over 25 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. Contact her via e-mail at maren@kidstalknews.com. Read column archives at www.KidsTalkNews.com.  

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk. Would you like to send Kids Talk to friends and family or receive Kids Talk e-mail updates in your own inbox? Sign up for FREE here: Click here for a FREE subscription.

About Maren Schmidt Maren Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland. She has over 25 years experience working with children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland. She is author of Building Cathedrals Not Walls: Essays for Parents and Teachers as well as Understanding Montessori: A Guide for Parents.

©2010 KIDS TALK™
25877 East Bright Avenue
Welches, OR 97067
503.550.3143
maren@kidstalknews.com

Kids Talk is published in conjunction with Scribe Marketing

The Best Gift for Our Children

It was Parents' Weekend during our daughter's freshman year at college. The ladies cross-country team had arranged a dinner for the parents. As we dined on ravioli at a local restaurant, it dawned on me that I was sitting in the middle of a statistical anomaly.

Every team member had a parent there, and of 20 young women, only one set of parents was divorced. With the national divorce rate reportedly hovering around 65%, why was the divorce rate only 5% in this group of families?

In doing some research, I found out some interesting facts, one being that the divorce rate is difficult to calculate. It is estimated to be between 40% to 60%, depending on what factors are used. I did discover that as the level of education rises in a marriage, the divorce rate plummets. As income rises, the divorce rate drops. Also, in stable marriages, the educational and income levels of adult children rises.

What I observed at Parents' Weekend was not an oddity at all but in fact normal for families with college students. What came first, though, the stable marriage or the educational and financial success?

A doctor friend of mine spoke of a fellow physician who retired at age 55 after his children had graduated from college. When asked at his retirement party how he was financially able to retire at a young age, the doctor smiled and said, “One house. One wife.”

For this doctor, an intact well-working marriage provided financial and emotional stability to family life. What a present for children.

Dr. Robert Shaw, in his book, The Epidemic, has a thought-provoking list, 15 Ways to Ruin Your Child and Your Life. First on his list is, "Don't plan ahead. Don't think early on about arranging a secure home in which to raise a child. Especially, don't pick a husband or wife with character traits that would make him or her a true partner and supporter as you rear your children."

Deborah, a friend whose parents divorced when she was ten, still hopes that her parents will reunite. Deborah told me, "Mom and Dad will both be here for Thanksgiving. Wouldn't it be great if…." For Deborah, 40 years later, the wish for an intact family remains.

Creating a happy marriage is difficult work. Victoria, married over 30 years, told me, "I always cry at weddings because the bride and groom have no idea how much work is ahead of them." Victoria is right, but a new couple has no idea of the happiness and joy that will come their way if they will do the work.

Dr. John Gottman in his book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, tells us not to focus so much on conflict resolution as in developing shared meaning and a sense of purpose into our marriage. The basis of Dr. Gottman's approach is to "strengthen the friendship that is at the heart of every marriage."

Take the time every day to strengthen your friendship with your life's partner. It's a great gift to each other. A strong, happy marriage is the best gift you could give your children.

Next week: For Unto Us a Child Is Born

The Epidemic: The Rot of American Culture, Absentee and Permissive Parenting, and the Resultant Plague of Joyless, Selfish Children

by Robert Shaw by Harper

Hardcover ~ Release Date: 2003-09-23

List Price: $24.95

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The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

by John Gottman by Orion (an Imprint of The Orion Publishing Group Ltd )

Paperback

List Price: $14.23

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About Kids Talk™
Kids Talk™ is an award-winning newspaper column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland. She has over 25 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. Contact her via e-mail at maren@kidstalknews.com. Read column archives at www.KidsTalkNews.com.  

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk. Would you like to send Kids Talk to friends and family or receive Kids Talk e-mail updates in your own inbox? Sign up for FREE here: Click here for a FREE subscription.

About Maren Schmidt Maren Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland. She has over 25 years experience working with children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland. She is author of Building Cathedrals Not Walls: Essays for Parents and Teachers as well as Understanding Montessori: A Guide for Parents.

©2010 KIDS TALK™
25877 East Bright Avenue
Welches, OR 97067
503.550.3143
maren@kidstalknews.com

Kids Talk is published in conjunction with Scribe Marketing

Santa Claus: Making the Invisible Visible

"I've never gotten a present from Santa Claus," said Iliana, my 12-year-old seatmate on an east coast flight. "My parents thought I should only be given verifiable facts. They told me there is no veracity in Santa Claus."

"It's too bad that no one ever told your parents about the Secret of Santa Claus. When you know the Secret, you believe in Santa Claus all your life, even if you can't verify facts," I said.

"You believe in Santa Claus? What secret?"

"It's simple, but...."

"Please, tell me," Iliana said.

"We're flying on a plane right now. Who built this plane? Who designed it? Who got it ready to fly? Who trained our pilots? We know that someone had to do it, and with some research, we could find those people. We won't though. We'll never meet those people. I'll call them invisible workers since they work to give us something we couldn't do alone."

I took a sip of coffee. "There are thousands of invisible workers for almost everything we use. I have no idea who planted the beans for this cup of coffee, or who picked them, roasted them and packaged them. I can only thank our flight attendant, the last person in this invisible line of people."

"I have faith," I continued, "that when I wish to fly on an airplane, or have a cup of coffee, these unknown people will have done their jobs, and my desires will come true. I don't have to grow my own coffee beans or build my own airplane because of all these wonderful people."

"So you're saying that Santa Claus is an invisible worker?" said Iliana.

"I see Santa Claus being all these people in the world, who strive to serve humankind, to make life more enjoyable, more comfortable, more magical. I will never see these people who do so many things for me, but they are most assuredly real. When I understood this, and I was older than twelve, I wanted to be that helpful kind of person. In the first stage of believing in Santa Claus, when we're little, we're on the receiving end. When we live the secret, we are on the giving side, which is fun. Being like Santa, which is doing our jobs with cheerful intention to help others, makes amazing things happen, such as flying at 30,000 feet at 500 miles an hour, while sipping coffee, and talking to you about Santa Claus."

"I get it. Once you know how Santa works, you become Santa Claus. You do your regular stuff with love in your heart, and try to help others, not expecting anything in return. Santa is people helping people. I'm pretty sure nobody told my parents that," Iliana said. "I think I'm going to have some fun being an invisible worker."

I was hoping I could show Iliana that Santa is that invisible force of faith, charity, believing and doing that cannot be easily explained. For the young child, one way we can help them see and experience this force is in Santa's work. As the young child enters a developmental stage of reasoning, around age six, and begins to wonder about Santa, we need to give them opportunities to work and contribute to something bigger than themselves. We need to show them how to choose to be part of the magical power of giving, service and surprise.

As we walked off the plane, Iliana said, "I'm so excited about Santa Claus. I've already got some great ideas. I think this feeling is what the saying, 'Iit is more blessed to give than to receive,' means. Boy, are my parents and a few other people going to be surprised!"

Iliana spied her grandparents and started singing, "Here Comes Santa Claus." They laughed and said, "What are you so happy about?"

As I walked away, Iliana waved and winked at me, and then answered, "It's a secret."

Next week: The Best Gift for Our Children

Note from Maren: This article has appeared as a Kids Talk newsletter several times. I am sending it out again due to numerous calls I received for it last year. Enjoy!

About Kids Talk™
Kids Talk™ is an award-winning newspaper column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland. She has over 25 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. Contact her via e-mail at maren@kidstalknews.com. Read column archives at www.KidsTalkNews.com.  

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk. Would you like to send Kids Talk to friends and family or receive Kids Talk e-mail updates in your own inbox? Sign up for FREE here: Click here for a FREE subscription.

About Maren Schmidt Maren Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland. She has over 25 years experience working with children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland. She is author of Building Cathedrals Not Walls: Essays for Parents and Teachers as well as Understanding Montessori: A Guide for Parents.

©2010 KIDS TALK™
25877 East Bright Avenue
Welches, OR 97067
503.550.3143
maren@kidstalknews.com

Kids Talk is published in conjunction with Scribe Marketing

Ten Little Words

As soon as my southern drawl is detected, I usually am greeted with something like, "Aren't you from the South? Southerners are so polite." Folks from all over the world marvel at our use of "Yes, ma'am," and "No, sir."

My imagination is not large enough to consider growing up and not saying "Yes, ma'am." As I entered my teenage years, I found that, among my peers, "please" and "thank you" were reserved only for authority figures. The older I got, the everyday grace and courtesy of saying a few kind words seemed to all but disappear.

Years ago, I made a radical departure from my Southern roots. Instead of teaching my children "Yes, ma'am," and "No, sir," we used the phrases, "Yes, please," and "No, thank you," as I considered these words to show regard across intergenerational lines. My desire was for these phrases to communicate respect and kindness not only to elders, but also to family members, friends and associates, for a lifetime.

Being savvy in the social graces is called emotional or social intelligence. Emotional awareness and interpersonal skills are seen as significant factors in successful relationships of all kinds. Knowing the right word to say at the right time to the right person--well, wouldn't that be fabulous?

Stephen Covey in The 8th Habit says that when he visits with children, he encourages them to learn ten words, or four phrases, that will help guarantee that, when these words are used in a desire to be of service to others, they'll get what they want from other people.

Covey's four phrases are "please," "thank you," "I love you," and "how may I help?"

Ten amazing words. When we use these words, the rough edges of a situation seem to go smooth.

Next time you are in line at the grocery store or fast food restaurant, notice how many people say "please" and "thank you," "how can I help," and "I appreciate you" (which is a way to say I love you to those who need it but whom we might not know that well).

There are times we might be lucky enough to hear all four phrases at once.

It was a late, jam-packed holiday shopping night when the discount store's computer system decided not to accept any credit cards from the long lines of customers. Tempers flared, while customers and clerks looked worse for wear by the second. I thought it might be best to leave, and quickly.

From the back of the lines, a man's voice, an alto tenor, a Nat King Cole kind of voice, began to rise over the grumbling.

"Silent Night. Holy Night. All is calm..."

With a few notes, we all remembered the important stuff of life. "All is bright," we joined in.

By the end of the first verse, the computer systems didn't magically start working again, but all was calm. Everybody was smiling at everybody else.

How effectively this gentleman communicated "please," "thank you," "how may I help?" and "I love you."

Let's teach our children and ourselves to use these four phrases, these ten little words, on a daily basis. We could change the world.

Next week: Making the Invisible Visible

The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness

by Stephen R. Covey by Free Press

Hardcover ~ Release Date: 2004-11-09

List Price: $28.00

Our Price: $1.49

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About Kids Talk™
Kids Talk™ is an award-winning newspaper column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland. She has over 25 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. Contact her via e-mail at maren@kidstalknews.com. Read column archives at www.KidsTalkNews.com.  

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk. Would you like to send Kids Talk to friends and family or receive Kids Talk e-mail updates in your own inbox? Sign up for FREE here: Click here for a FREE subscription.

About Maren Schmidt Maren Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland. She has over 25 years experience working with children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland. She is author of Building Cathedrals Not Walls: Essays for Parents and Teachers as well as Understanding Montessori: A Guide for Parents.

©2010 KIDS TALK™
25877 East Bright Avenue
Welches, OR 97067
503.550.3143
maren@kidstalknews.com 

Kids Talk is published in conjunction with Scribe Marketing