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Saturday, February 18, 2012

Leaders Grow

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Research shows that it takes a minimum of 10,000 hours of focused practice to become a master musician, artist, dancer…parent or leader.

One of the first steps in becoming a leader is realizing that proficiency requires a significant amount of time, commitment and dedication. How much time is 10,000 hours? Practice eight hours a day, and that figure translates to 1,250 days or about three-and-a-half years. That's assuming eight hours a day with a leadership attitude!

Your initial sphere of influence as a leader is small. Stretch out your arms horizontally to the floor, turn around, look in the mirror and there is your beginning sphere of influence. You. Your ideas, your thoughts, your actions, your habits, your character, your life. The most important person you will ever lead or influence is yourself. And the most difficult person? You guessed it. Yourself.

We grow our sphere of influence by asking a key question: What is the best thing I can do under these set of circumstances?

Leadership is a choice, not a position, and once we make the choice to lead and empower ourselves to direct our lives, we begin to enlarge our sphere of influence to include items of personal concern—our families, our friends, our jobs—that grow over time to include our community and the larger world.

Daily, as we ask the key question—What's the best thing to do?—we need to consider the level of initiative to use. Stephen Covey in The 8th Habit tells us of seven levels of initiative, the lowest being wait until told, then ask, make a recommendation, I intend to, do it and report immediately, do it and report periodically, and ending with do it. Perhaps using a child's development will help us gain insight into our personal growth.

Let's consider three-year-old Jacob who wants to help in the kitchen. At the first level, Jacob waits until he is told to do something and shown how to do it. Jacob learns to perform such tasks as setting the table, learning to slice fruits and vegetables, load the dishwasher, stir batter, and drop cookies onto a cookie sheet.

Even as a three-year-old Jacob would work through these seven levels of initiative as his skills grow. He'll ask to set the table. He might recommend setting the table differently. He could tell you he intends to set the table. Jacob could set the table and report back immediately, or periodically. At the final initiative level, Jacob would be independent and do it without being told, reminded or anything else. He would just do it.

Day by day, year by year, Jacob's skills and sphere of influence grow by learning new skills, practicing them, and discovering ways to use those skills to help himself and others. At some point, perhaps age nine, Jacob would have learned all the skills to independently prepare a family meal.

As adult leaders, we grow by asking ourselves continually, what it the best thing to do? We grow by understanding our skill levels and working each day to build proficiency. We understand our sphere of influence and maximize our work in that area.  We use the seven levels of initiative to understand how to best approach each task in current circumstances.

As leaders, as we grow to know, the Serenity Prayer might guide us:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.


Next week: Leaders Listen



About Kids Talk™
Kids Talk™ is an award-winning newspaper column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Contact her via e-mail at maren@kidstalknews.com. Read column archives at www.KidsTalkNews.com. 

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk. Would you like to send Kids Talk to friends and family or receive Kids Talk e-mail updates in your own inbox? Sign up for FREE here: Click here for a FREE subscription.

About Maren Schmidt
Maren SchmidtMaren Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 25 years experience working with children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is author of Building Cathedrals Not Walls: Essays for Parents and Teachers as well as Understanding Montessori: A Guide for Parents.
©2012 KIDS TALK™
25877 East Bright Avenue
Welches, OR 97067
503.550.3143

Kids Talk is published in conjunction with Scribe Marketing

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Leaders Innovate

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Making small adjustments in our lives in terms of vision, discipline, passion and conscience provide big payback on our leadership growth and abilities. Vision requires our mental skills of using imagination and curiosity. Discipline in turn uses our mind to control our physical challenges. Passion arrives when we find purpose in our lives. Conscience deals with matters of reason and free will.

Leaders innovate. They try new ideas. They listen to others' points of view. If something doesn't work, they try something else. Leaders don't have to be geniuses, but they put into action Einstein's advice of "We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."

As leaders of our families—the best test of leadership—we must have a compelling vision of what and how we want our family to be. If something is not working for our family, we don't have to follow patterns established by our parents, our jobs, our schools, our churches or our communities. We can innovate.

Our big question around which our vision, discipline, passion and conscience will converge is this: What do we really want for our family and our children?

Get a group of 20 parents together, ask this question, and you will discover that what parents really want for their children is this: Parents want their children to have certain time-tested aspects of character that will help children be resilient to whatever circumstances they find themselves, at any time in their lives.

What are these character traits we want for our children?

To have the ability to enjoy life; to value themselves; to be risk takers; to be self reliant; to be free from stress and anxiety; to have loving, peaceful lives; to celebrate their present moments; to experience a lifetime of wellness; to be creative; and to fulfill their higher needs and to feel a sense of purpose.

To get what we really want, sometimes we have to think differently.

For Rebecca in her growing up years, Saturday mornings had been family house-cleaning and chore time followed by a family outing. With fondness, Rebecca had continued this tradition with her own children. Resentment, though, was running high because her twin ten-year-old boys wanted to be on swim team, which required Saturday morning practices and meets, as well as money. Rebecca's answer to the boys' request was a flat out, "No." Her husband, John, didn't want to discuss the situation with her.

When the tension in the family became too high because of Rebecca's resistance to the boys' continued insistence to join swim team, Rebecca luckily had a leadership realization. Rebecca saw that she was trying to manage her sons, instead of leading them to see their worth and potential.

Rebecca and John called a family meeting to discuss the swim team problem. Rebecca started, "Your dad and I see that you really want to be on swim team, but we are not willing to give up important family time. We'd like to see what ideas we can come up with as a family so that we can have all our needs met." After a discussion of several solutions, the family chose to do a two-month trial of changing the Saturday morning chores to Thursday night in order for Saturdays to be free for swimming. Family outing time was scheduled for Saturday afternoons.

When Rebecca made the decision to be open to new ideas from her sons, and not focus as much on controlling the schedule and managing details, a win-win solution emerged.

Rebecca and her family found that discussing and making small adjustments helped create the family they envisioned—each member helping each other discover their worth and potential.

Next week: Leaders Grow

About Kids Talk™
Kids Talk™ is an award-winning newspaper column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Contact her via e-mail at maren@kidstalknews.com. Read column archives at www.KidsTalkNews.com. 

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk. Would you like to send Kids Talk to friends and family or receive Kids Talk e-mail updates in your own inbox? Sign up for FREE here: Click here for a FREE subscription.

About Maren Schmidt
Maren SchmidtMaren Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 25 years experience working with children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is author of Building Cathedrals Not Walls: Essays for Parents and Teachers as well as Understanding Montessori: A Guide for Parents.
©2012 KIDS TALK™
25877 East Bright Avenue
Welches, OR 97067
503.550.3143

Kids Talk is published in conjunction with Scribe Marketing